DEFINITIONS Wonderfully Described!!

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise,
but never read

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

YAWN:
The only time when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give
to their  Mistakes

DIPLOMAT:
A person  who tells you
to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

BOSS:
Someone who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

FATHER:
A banker provided by
nature

MISER:
A person who lives poor
so that he can die RICH!

OPTIMIST:
A person  who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills..........